A beautiful musical picture for this week. I do not think it needs any further words, just enjoy!

Copyright Martin Zalesny

This is my favourite baby wearing picture. It was taken as part of a photography exhibition of babywearers in Leicester. When my partner saw it at the exhibition he became very emotional. I love to play piano and harp with our baby in our mei tai, and she loves it too.

Diane (Happytune)

A winter carrying  picture for a cold day. Got to love those big blue eyes!

I have about a billion babywearing photos, having worn all of my five living children, but when asked which is my favourite this one sprang to mind. It’s of my Angus, he’ll be 10 in March. This was taken on a beach treasure hunt in December 2003, it was so cold, but he had fun on my back in our much loved (at the time) Ergo.

Jeanette (IndiaEden)

This weeks babywearing picture is from Liz. Taken at Sutton Hoo last year.

Taken at Sutton Hoo in late September this year with LO aged 7 months.  I like it because it always brings a smile to my face – and reminds me of a lovely, lovely day.

Liz

Thank you for sharing Liz! It really is a wonderful picture.

We are still looking for more pictures to feature! If you want to enter yours please email Sarah on reviews@naturalmamas.co.uk with your picture and an explanation as to why it is your favourite!

I can’t recall my son seeing a tandem carry to learn from, but here at 3 years old, he did it anyway! He wanted to sling his small baby who he said was ‘crying’; I didn’t have his mini mei tai with us so used his jersey in podaegi style. Then he asked to carry the weighted demo doll. I was about to take his baby off first but he stopped me & said he could carry a baby on his back too, so I used a solarweave Connecta on the back (very twisted in this picture though!). He was in a hurry but his demeanour was one of nurturing – he knew where babies feel happy

Corrine (Lunachick)

Any picture related to babywearing goes! If you want yours to feature on here please email Sarah ( SairlyD) on reviews@naturalmamas.co.uk with your picture and why it is so important to you!

Today’s post is written by Rachel Coy, mama to  Henry (Jan ’10) and pregnant with number 2. Rachel is a cloth nappy using, sling wearing, part-time history teacher and full time mummy.

From the time my son was a few weeks old I was constantly asked if he was “good”. I soon came to realise that this really meant “is he sleeping through the night?” To be honest, in the beginning, he woke VERY frequently for feeds, but after a while he was indeed sleeping “through” – I was getting plenty of rest and started to feel myself again. So it came as quite a shock, when at 9 months, this stopped and he began waking frequently again. I thought we were destined to a life without sleep, and eventually my husband felt we should try the “cry it out” method that people KEPT on telling us was the only way. We tried it despite my instinct that he needed to be picked up and cuddled and after three terrible (and exhausting) nights he was back in our bed, waking often. At this point I knew I needed another option and it came in the form of Elizabeth Pantley’s, No Cry Sleep Solution.

I had been a member of Natural Mamas forum for several months and had kept seeing this book mentioned; it became my bible. I read it cover to cover in 3 nights and set about implementing the methods described. It is impossible to give a complete account of the book in a few pages, but I will try to give a summary.

The ethos of the book is as the front cover describes “gentle ways to help your baby sleep through the night”.  Pantley’s methods spoke to me. They were natural and seemed to fit with what I instinctively wanted to do. The first thing that struck me about the No Cry Sleep Solution is that you make it fit with your own baby. You are given tips and suggestions, but you don’t need to fit your baby to a set model and there are no requirements that your baby must meet.  Key for me was realising that ‘sleeping through’ officially means a period of 5 hours sleep. It didn’t mean the 7pm to 7am, which other books said it did. This was hugely reassuring.

The first thing Pantley recommends is a safety check. It does not matter whether your baby is in your bed, in a bedside crib, Moses basket or cot but it has to be SAFE.  Sleep is important, but safety is crucial.  We wanted our son to sleep in a cot but were willing to allow him into our bed too.  Mention the words “co-sleeping” to most people and you are told you will endanger your baby but when the guidelines  are followed,  co-sleeping is safe. (UNICEF has a useful help sheet here: http://www.mybirthbydesign.com/sharingbedleaflet.pdf.)   For me co-sleeping is natural, we are the only mammals who don’t do it regularly.

From then onwards the aim of the book is to encourage you to record the sleep your child gets. This means all sleep, day and night, as well as the hour immediately before bedtime. The book supplies blank sleep logs – how will you see improvement if you don’t have an accurate record of the problem? After 3 ‘night logs’ you move on. At the end of each night you add up how much sleep baby got, how many times they woke etc.  It is at this point that the NCSS starts to work. Once you have done the groundwork, the book provides suggestions for everyone: breast- or bottle-fed, dummies, cot (crib, Moses basket) or co-sleeping etc.  The NCSS is not a quick plan going to get you sleep immediately. It is a plan which needs time to take effect and you need to stick with it long enough to see if it taking effect. If you are looking for a quick fix, this book isn’t for you.  The chapter on sleep solutions is split into age groups so you can match to your child’s needs. The book encourages parents to start to look for sleep cues – we’ve all been there when a baby becomes ‘over tired’. Once we began to look for cues we found our son was sleeping better.

The main technique for teaching baby to fall asleep alone is called ‘Pantley’s Gentle Removal Plan’. While ‘Controlled Crying’ and ‘Cry it Out’ tell you to leave you baby, this method encourages you go to go and soothe your baby, to feed them if necessary, but instead of letting them fall completely asleep before you remove them from breast (or bottle/dummy) when their sucking slows. Instinctively baby will start rooting for the nipple, again and the book suggests that you gently hold their mouth closed while rocking etc. Again it isn’t an immediate solution, but the number of times that they have to be taken on and off breast will reduce and gradually they will fall asleep. It took us 2 weeks. The book describes a breastfed baby but can be adapted to fit with a bottle fed baby too.

This book won’t suit everyone. It probably worked with me as I am quite ‘natural’ in my thinking and it proved to me that there were other options, that I didn’t have to do what everyone else said and to go with my instincts. As one mama I spoke to put it, the NCSS “makes you feel better about the sleep you’re [still] not getting”. It isn’t a quick fix but nothing worthwhile in life ever is, is it?  Another mother said “that it reminded me of things I knew in my deepest unconscious motherness but just could not reach in my sleep deprived and generally addled state. It was not a miracle cure but was a great tool to get me back on the straight and narrow”. And for me this is the point, it gave me time to remember what I wanted and to assess what I thought I should be doing. I definitely intend on using this book when baby number 2 arrives in April, and if I get asked the question: “Are they good?” again, I might just have to lie to begin with!

‘No Cry Sleep Solution’ is written by Elizabeth Pantley. It was published in 2002 by McGrawHill.

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If you have an idea for a blog article you think would be interesting and relevant to Natural Mamas, please email me (SairlyD) on  reviews@naturalmamas.co.uk or contact ANNE via Private Message to discuss. We’d love to hear from you.

This picture was taken in October 2011, on the lane leading from our house. It means a lot to me, wearing my big girl in our snuggly old Hopp that I’ve carried both my little ones in. I love the light and the space, and it makes me think of the journey we’ve taken in the last year, a big move and adventure.

Babywearing came into it’s own again when we moved to the Highlands, it’s been wonderful to be able to explore our new surroundings together and share its beauty.

Lorna (LohBee)

If you’d like to take part in this new weekly feature, please submit your favourite picture by email to reviews@naturalmamas.co.uk (only one picture which is under 1MB please) together with your username and why the picture is special to you. If you’ve already submitted your picture, keep your eyes peeled next week, as it could be you!

The tree has gone, a home has been found for all the new toys, and frankly the novelty of all being at home when the weather has been wet enough to keep us in doors most days, is starting to wear off. Luckily it’s sunny  this afternoon and we’re about to head to a National Trust property for a walk, but with a few days of school holidays remaining (and tomorrow I’ll be flying solo when DH returns to work) I’ve been wondering what we can do to keep busy and prevent a children’s-TV-induced-coma for the rest of the week!

I’m pretty sure the answer is in the craft box…

When looking for crafty ideas that will keep BOTH kids of different ages (and me!) happy, my first point of call  is often the Kiddy Crafty Stuff Pinterest board which is contributed to by a whole bunch of Natural Mamas. I know it has been mentioned here before. Have you seen it yet? There are loads of ideas – some requiring only a few things you’re sure to have about the house. These look good, for starters (click on the images to visit the links on Pinterest and then again to see the source)….

Lego printing, rocket making (from the recycling box) and some simple visual trickery

With just 3 more sleeps until Christmas, news of heightened elf activity has been reported right across the country. These cheeky creatures are believed to be MOSTLY harmless although they have been known to lead quiet well-behaved toys astray and to make lots of mess. You’re advised to approach any unknown elves with caution… and cookies. A few mamas have even managed to capture them on film:

Elf activity is expected to increase dramatically over the next few days so however and whatever you celebrate,

Natural Mamas would like to wish you

plenty of Festive Fun

&

a very Cool Yule

and watch out for the elves!!!

When I was expecting my second child, I had this terrible fear that I couldn’t possibly love another child the way I loved my son – it often kept me awake and in tears at night. Towards the end of my pregnancy I became obsessed with this overwhelming worry that I wouldn’t be able to love them both the same, and the guilt that I would ruin My Boy’s life and our relationship that was so strong after 2 years and 9 months in our own little bubble.

Talking to friends with more than one child, I realised this was a common and normal fear for expectant mothers, but still couldn’t  believe their reassurances. Including my first pregnancy, the previous three years had revolved almost entirely around My Boy. How could I expect him to share me with someone else, and how would I find enough love for another child? I really couldn’t begin to imagine it.

The first few months of Little Miss’ life was a MAJOR change for all of us, but I especially felt the change in my relationship with her brother. I felt guilty for adding another child to the family and not being able to give him my undivided attention, and also shocked at how I felt so protective of my little baby to the extent I was constantly having to reprimand her boisterous and over-enthusiastic sibling, who was just being loving to his sister but was far too rough and physical with her. Sometimes he’d tell me that he wished he didn’t have a sister and wanted her to go back. That was really hard.

Little Miss is now 2 years and 8 months. There won’t be any more babies here, our family is complete. But I’m so happy that they have each other.  It was worth every second of anxiety and the months of re-adjustment, many times over. I can’t imagine either of my children without the other now – they are such a great little team. Of course they do have their moments, but more often than not they are great companions. They look out for each other and keep one another company.  This morning I got out of the shower to find Little Miss sitting on the toilet, with her big brother on a stool, reading her a story. It’s moments like that which make my heart melt.

There’s a poem which has been posted on the Natural Mamas Parenting Board a few times, which sums it up beautifully – it made me cry to read it when I was pregnant… now it gives me a knowing smile.

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him—as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I watch how he adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you—only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.
I love you—-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

—Author Unknown

If you enjoyed that poem, how about writing your own? The Natural Mamas Poetry competition is running until the 31st December. Submit your entry to will be in with a chance to win a special Connecta Baby carrier. Full details on how to enter can be found here.